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Choose Your Own Adventure

MALIBU1CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE

This life is exactly what we make of it. Each day, each new morning, each MOMENT we have CHOICE.
Where we go, what we’ll do, who we’ll BE and become…. it’s all our choice.
What will you make of this life? What legacy will you leave? How will you be remembered? How will you impact others?

Sometimes we think that to make changes in our life we have to make big leaping changes. A grande gesture to our goals and dreams… a complete shift from the life we’re living now to the one we want to live.

But changing doesn’t take magic or luck. It takes ONE STEP AT A TIME.
You’ve heard it over and over by now… “You make changes by taking small, consistent steps everyday in the direction of your goal.”

So, if we’re going to make a change, first thing me must know is WHAT CHANGE WE WANT TO MAKE.
You’ve got to know where you’re going to get there. Then, you work backwards from there.
To get to that bigger goal, what are the small steps you need to take. Break it down by month, by week, by day. So that each day you’re doing something that will lead you in that direction. Then just trust the process and the actions you’re taking. You will make that change. You will reach that goal.

This is what is so juicy about life. Each and everyday you can decide to make a change. Whether it be a small change like deciding you’re going to smile at the people you pass on the street that day. Or a big change, like deciding you’re going to take action to change your career path. It’s all up to you.
And in every instant you have the choice to do better, do more, BE more! If you’ve found yourself losing the zest for life, well… it’s up to you to spark it right back up! Set a goal, and go for it! Start working those “goal crushing” muscles! There’s no better way to show yourself you can do it, than by actually DOING IT!
You can’t wait around for someone else to come in and change your life. It’s all up to you. When you identify the change you want to make, and start taking ACTION in that direction, THEN people come into your path to help you along! You’re doing the work, you’ve started the momentum, and then you’ll find that the people you need to know, to work with and collaborate with are perfectly placed in front of you exactly when you need them.

We all have one super power, (yes, other than our CAKES!) We all have the ability to choose. CHOICE is our super power! You don’t like something? Change it. You want to do something different with your life? Change it. You don’t like what you wake up to every morning? Change it.
But you’re thinking “what about those things, people, places, whatever … that I can’t change?” Then change your MINDSET. That’s your super power. You can change the way you see something! The magic is in perspective. You’ve got to change your perspective.

The ability to choose our own adventure in every second, every minute of every day is an incredibly cool thing! DO NOT WASTE THIS ABILITY! Test it out. Play with it! Next time you’re headed to Starbucks for your “usual”, and you walk past that smaller, less commercial coffee shop, that looks really quaint, but whose coffee you’re kinda confused by because it’s “pour over” and it takes so long to make one cup…. in that moment, just say “eff it!” and stop in there instead! See what all the hype is about. Check it out. Change your routine. Or… why not reach out to that person who you’ve been wanting to ask to mentor you?! What’re you waiting for?! Seriously…. you can do that! It’s your choice.
Use your “choice” muscle.
It’s incredibly satisfying and is sure to send you on an adventure!

 

HAPPY BAKING!

~KatieCakes

Uplift Her to Uplift Yourself

Have you ever seen another woman sitting in a coffee shop, on the train, walking down the street, running on the treadmill next to you, all over Instagram….(eye roll,) who’s beautiful, classy, fashionable, and everything about her exudes beauty… 

And you just feel this SUCKER PUNCH to the gut!?!

Lol! But for real.. It hits that place deep down inside that you don’t really want anyone to know you have?!! … that place you hold contempt, and jealousy, and hate, and disregard … that place that holds all those “Fuck You” ‘s! Haha!

Yeah. That place. You ever felt that?!

It’s ok to admit that you have. I know I have. Whatever.

It’s a really shitty feeling. It takes a hold of us and sends us down that spiral of self-hatred and self-loathing. It’s that road paved with insecurities that leads us straight into the pit of low-self esteem. That dark place void of confidence. Void of beauty. Void of grace.

How ironic and fucked up is that?! Seeing a woman, who we perceive to hold all of these traits of beauty and confidence and grace… sends us to a place in our minds where we are completely void of all those same characteristics that we long for.

In one instance, with one flash of ass, legs, and beautiful full hair… we trip and fall over that edge into this place of complete despair.

How the F*CK did that happen??!!!

Well, this is what happens when we put our worth in the material things like, looks, clothes, cars, bags, accessories, trips, men…. 

We set ourselves up for jealousy and failure… failure as women.

So let’s take a look at this. How can we change this? How can we find peace within ourselves so that when we see that woman, we feel like we want to give her that wink of solidarity, like “Yes, woman, I feel you!” … rather than wanting to hate on her for being so damn pretty?!?! (Who’s the crazy one now, right?! You are. Yes, definitely you. Lol!)

Consider this idea: “Whatever we are not giving, we are withholding.”

Meaning, that if we are not giving, or if we are withholding something from someone else, we too are then actually withholding that from our own selves.

So if this is to be true, this would mean that every time we look at a woman with contempt and jealousy, i.e. withholding her beauty, then we are in that same moment withholding our own beauty as well. We in turn actually become the ugly ones.

Instead of applauding her for her beauty and grace, we try and pick out what’s wrong with her.

But in robbing her of her beauty, we are robbing ourselves as well.

You can see how this all shapes up to be one ugly situation.

And, to complicate things even further… it’s like the whole “chicken or the egg” thing.

Our insecurities are driving our jealousy. And our jealousy is driving our actions of putting another woman down, which in turn, as we just learned, puts our own selves down, which then feeds our insecurities.

It’s like a vicious cycle.

So… the solution here is swift shift in perspective.

It’s like we gotta throw a cog in the wheel to make it stop!

It’s actually very easy.

First, we must find a DIFFERENT place in ourselves to hold these feelings for women. A place of love, rather than fear and insecurity. We must make a new space, so that when we see a woman like this, we can take those shitty feelings, put them in this new space, and let that marinate. Let them transform from ugly and mean, to complimentary and beautiful.

This is going to sound crazy to some…. but what you must do is, you must “bless” her beauty. Yup, Like you would a sneeze. Lol.

“Bless you”… “I bless your beauty.”  (It’s really not to be said out loud. You don’t want people to think you’re actually crazy. Lol)

And then, turn that to yourself, and bless your own beauty. 

Remember, what you withhold from someone else, you withhold from yourself.

And, inversely, what you give someone else, you give yourself.

You can be beautiful, too.

Now, do you see how this situation is already turning from ugly to beautiful?

So as crazy as this may seem to be, it really works. You’ll feel lighter and more free. More beautiful. You see, those shitty feelings you would’ve been carrying, they’re really heavy. That shit weighs you down… it’ll have you feeling all funky and frumpy and heavy and shit.

But, now since you’ve replaced those with the lighter more beautiful feelings, you’re going to feel lighter. You’ll feel like a woman of beauty and grace…

See how that works?!

That’s the first step. That’s the easy one. That’s the sweet little trick.

But don’t lose that. That must become second nature.

Because after that, you’re going to have to dig a little deeper so that those feelings will stick. We must now dive into a bigger shift in perspective. We’ve got to get to the root of why you feel like this woman has something on you because she’s beautiful. Why can’t she be beautiful?! What’s that got to do with you?!

Well, I believe because we’ve been societally pressured to see other women as competition…for men, for attention, etc., we then are always stuck in that place of lack.  Like, if she has it, I must not.

This is universally NOT TRUE.

So, here, I ask you to shift your thoughts from those of lack, to those of abundance. Her beauty does not take away from yours, as yours does not hers. Another woman’s beauty does not take anything away from you.  It doesn’t keep you from anything. And it doesn’t somehow block you from your potential and greatness.

We have to understand that everything that is meant for us will come to us. 

So ladies, if that man wants to be with another woman, then he wasn’t meant for you girl! And you better hurry up and let that man go, because your man is waiting!

See?!!

Or if that woman got that job and you didn’t… well it just wasn’t meant for you. You feel me?!

So, trust this. Trust that you, and every other woman on this planet can be just as beautiful as you and they want to be. And each and everyone of us can have all that our true spirit and heart desires.

This brings me to this final point.

You, woman, have something that NO OTHER WOMAN possesses. You, woman, have YOU.

You are uniquely you. And no other woman in this universe has what you have. There is no other woman, at any corner of this planet that can offer what you have to offer.

So baby, you better get out there and let your light shine. You better let your beauty radiate! And you better let another woman do the same. In letting her do the same, you are allowing yourself that as well.

Get out there ladies. Compliment each other. Smile at each other. Silently bless each other.

We are ONE HALF this human population. And if there’s one thing we can say, we are INTENSELY more beautiful than the other half! Lol.

So let’s start lifting each other up, rather than tearing each other down.

Let’s make this world a universally more beautiful place!

Mind.Booty.Soul

Everywhere we turn in the world we live in today, we are shown this idea that the physical is important. That the aesthetics are what matters. Beautiful people doing beautiful things, wearing beautiful clothes, living beautiful lives.

We see bodies, and boobs, legs, and asses. Everything is focused on the outside… what someone looks like. Everyone is trying to lose fat here, put fat there. Slim this down and round that out.

People are literally being sculpted to look a certain way. And people are paying lots of money to do this. Not only that, everyone is trying to keep up by trying the latest supplement, fad diet, or newest workout craze.

We have millions of people spending millions of dollars and countless hours just trying to attain a certain level of aesthetic beauty that has never been more encouraged than now.

So now you come across theBAKESHOP, and you’d guess that it’s just another thing about asses…how to get the perfect booty.

You’d think so, yes.

But it’s not. It’s so much more.

Visualize this with me…

There’s this beautiful, delicious looking CAKE sitting there on the table, with a knife, fork and plate next to it, just waiting for you to take a piece! 

You cut into it…. but something looks funny.

The filling seems to be a little rotten, and is giving off a funky smell. 

Against your better judgment you still take a bite. The cake LOOKED so good…So it has to taste good, right?! 

WRONG!! You spit that shit out!!! Terrible!!! 

You ask yourself in disgust how a cake that looked so decadent and beautiful, could be filled with such SHIT?!

Well ladies… this is what it’s like when you get all dressed up and fussed up, nails did, hair did, stilettos poppin, and that booty banging, with the Louis bag to match….But you’re rotten, like that piece of cake

You haven’t done the work, woman!

You set all your sites and energy on the material things. All those empty props to make you LOOK beautiful… 

But you’ve neglected yourself, you haven’t done that SOUL work… People will soon realize that that beauty runs only skin deep.

Now keep reading.. stay with me. We got you.

Admittedly, we’re obsessed with booty’s here at theBAKESHOP. But only because we know how good it feels to look back in that mirror and see a banging ass booty staring back! 

But we also know we have a responsibility to the women of the world to serve up the message of self-worth, self-value, confidence and grace…along with all that booty.

We’d be doing a disservice to help create such beauty without backing it up with substance.

To be a woman of substance and grace is a goal we all should aspire to. And we should know that this is not mutually exclusive to being a woman who also wants to look and feel her sexiest.

The strong beautiful woman neither denies herself her femininity and all that comes along with being uniquely woman; nor does she flaunt it flippantly and without respect for herself and the female collective.

Working toward your most beautiful aesthetic is healthy and encouraged when you know that your value, worth, and happiness are not attached to it.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the idea that if we just had the perfect body, the perfect look, then we’d be happy.

Happiness is not waiting for you at the end of that road to weight-loss.

And happiness is not there finally when you’ve gotten rid of that cellulite.

Happiness isn’t there when you have bigger boobs, thinner thighs or a bigger butt.

Happiness is nowhere to be found in these places.

You know where it is.

Happiness is a choice you make from within. It’s there on that journey to finding yourself. It’s there waiting for you when you know your worth, and you live that truth.

That’s where happiness is.

So just as you put all that work into looking your best, you’ve got to put the work into BEING your best.

Countless hours in the gym, the hair salon, the designer boutiques…. these will not make up for the hours you need to spend working on yourself.

That SOUL work. Nothing takes that place.

It’s time we stop looking to external sources to make us happy. We must turn inward and cultivate our happiness there, and let it radiate from within.

People are universally attracted to those that radiate this peace and love. That energy attracts others, and we soon find ourselves happy, fulfilled, and enjoying every moment.

It’s in this space that we are free to then go forward and achieve all the goals and successes we have envisioned for ourselves.

When we know our worth, speak our truth, and live in our confidence, we then radiate boundless beauty.

This is the WOMAN we are helping to create at theBAKESHOP.
The woman who’s SOUL is just as amazing as that BOOTY!

Beautiful women. Beautiful souls.

BootyLifter.SoulShifter

The Story of Katie and her Cakes

How does a woman grow up to decide that her life’s mission is to make the world a better place by lifting booty’s and shifting souls?!

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This is how… *and please catch the undertones of pure humor and fun ridiculousness that run throughout this piece…

I’ve always had an obsession with people’s butts. At ages way too young to be noticing this kind of stuff, I remember really paying attention to all the different unique qualities that made each and every person’s booty different from the next. I remember in the 3rd grade, being so obsessed with the student teacher’s butt, (he was a college athlete… and his booty was very much sport specific!,) that I positioned myself everyday in the seat closest to where he’d be writing on the whiteboard so that I could spend that hour… well, “pursuing my passions.”

A couple years later I’d find myself taking advantage of the access that the kids had to the basketball court after the local semi-pro league games. I would be one of the first kids down there on that court post-game so that I could get closer to the 6’3” plus players, and their booty’s that sat at my exact eye level. 

Let’s just say I’ve been researching this subject from a very young age.

Fast forward a few years, and I started becoming very aware of my own ASSets that I never seemed to get away from. (Damn thing follows me everywhere!) I used to joke that my booty had a mind of her own. And she did. Always winking at the cute guys we passed. I never knew what kind of attention she was grabbing back there, but I knew she was creating a wake in our path.

Now this was in the thick of the early 90’s hip hop scene, so luckily I had plenty of songs about booty’s to relate to. (Yes, as an adolescent you listen to music that you can relate to, and this was the music that was speaking on something that I had personal experience with.) I also had icons like Selena to look up to, with an “up and comer” named Jennifer Lopez to pick up after she passed. (Nope, the likes of Nicki Minaj, Kim K, and even Beyoncé weren’t even blips on the screen yet.)

But this was all on TV. Unfortunately, growing up in a semi-small town in Nebraska, I didn’t have any real-world examples of what beautiful, confident women, with strong asses and thick thighs looked like. (And no social media at the time!) And even more upsetting was that those women weren’t appreciated in my community. The kids I went to high school with everyday still sought after the small waisted, tiny hipped girls that had more on the front side to work with than they did their backside. So I did my best to be cool with the “playful” jokes that surrounded my ass through school. I accepted the other kids telling me that I “looked like” Jennifer Lopez. (Wtf?!!? No I didn’t! I’m white.) It was just the comparable sizes of our asses that prompted these comparisons. But whatever… I went with it. Even dressing up at post prom with my very white friend Todd, as Puff and J.Lo.

I watched the grown women in my life do their best in their aerobic classes to literally work their booty off. Granted women and weights wasn’t a thing back then yet… I blame the times more than I do the people honestly. I mean, what were they to do when the only women they saw “working out” were the likes of Jane Fonda and those chicks from “Buns of Steel”?!  (Although, I do have to give big props to Ms. Studnicka, my gym teacher through high school who let us choose between playing dodgeball or doing the Abs and Buns of Steel videos twice a week.) Even though the chicks on those videos had the flat and narrows, (the descriptive shapes of their asses,) I knew the work I was doing was building the foundation for the cakes that I would have today!

*Side note: Fast forward 15 years and I’d find myself working alongside the woman who’s cakes were THE “buns of steel” on the cover of those VHS tapes! No kidding! Can we say “Meant to be?!”

Once I started venturing out into the world beyond my hometown, mostly in pursuit of the Miami baseball team during the College World Series at 16 yrs old, (I could drive finally…Freedom!), I became alarmingly aware that my backside was grabbing attention that I’d not gotten in the hallways of my own high school. (Not that I was even aware of the lack of attention, but it was quite the shocker when guys started noticing me… or “her” I should say.) But that’s when I first understood exactly what I was sitting on..(literally.) My cousin, being of the same genetic pool, also had her own cakes to reckon with. And when all four of us would go out, shit would get crazy.  That’s when we coined the phrase of this phenomenon we were seeing. It was called the “10 ft Turn Back.” You pass a guy, wait until you walk past about 10ft, look back, and it’s almost a guarantee they’re turning to look back at the same time to see what you’re working with. This was the catalyst for countless nights of girlish giggles between her and I through the years. We sometimes still do it to this day when we get together, just for old time’s sake.

Now, I understand that in other communities and cultures a great, big, beautiful ass is nothing to gawk at or do all this talking about. It’s normal, accepted and completely appreciated. But again, this was new to me. It took me a long time to get to a place where I was comfortable discerning between those that liked me for me, or mainly just liked my ass for my ass. This was when I started to understand the importance of matching a great personality with the great booty I had bouncing behind me. Trust me, it takes a humble and gracious woman to smile and mouth “I’m sorry,” to the person who gets into a fender bender while staring a little too hard at the cakes. (Yup, this happened in college. And yes, I couldn’t help but give myself a pat on the ass after that one.) But the truth is, a head as big as your ass isn’t all that attractive.

While I worked on the evolution of my young self, I found ways to laugh off and make light of the, what could be seen as vulgar, cat calls and advances made by the men I crossed paths with. I understood it. (Remember that 3rd grader strategically finding her face inches away from grown men’s asses…??!) Yeah, so I knew it was just a “thing.” I learned to separate a man just outwardly expressing his excitement over the booty versus any malicious intent to womanize me. How could I blame a person for just appreciating what God created?! (But trust, if a dude found himself drunk, or just beyond rude, this chick didn’t stand for it. Self-worth doesn’t let that shit go without words.)

I know what some of you might be thinking right now. That I am awfully conceited and self-involved by talking about my own ass this way. And that I must not have any self worth if I can speak this way about men appreciating my ass. But what you’ve got to understand is that I too view my own ass as a beautiful creation that I had nothing to do with, and I’m only happy to be sharing it with the world. Lol! Seriously though, I am thankful for what I was given and I see it as something that I was blessed with. (For real, not like these young “THOT’s” out here talking about #blessed next to pictures of their naked asses on Instagram.)

I appreciate that I was given something that people appreciate, (and yes, women appreciate these cakes too!) But more importantly, I’m thankful that I was blessed with a mind and soul that are open and enlightened enough to know that a great ass doesn’t make a great person. And that idolizing anything; an ass, a car, a house, a purse, a pair of shoes, or even another person, isn’t healthy for the spirit.

And I believe this is the real gift I was meant to give the world. The gift of self-love, self-worth, self-confidence, and the ability to elevate the mind, the spirit, the soul, and character, to a place where we can appreciate all those “material” things, but know that our happiness does not depend on them. My wish is to give the gift of never ending, bottomless happiness. And the ability to always see the beauty within ourselves, something that is so much more valuable than our perceived outward “beauty.”

I am so thankful for this “booty craze” that is sweeping pop culture right now. (It’s about damn time!) But I am equally concerned for what message this is sending to women. (Yes, young and “mature” alike.) It’s pulling that pendulum to the other side of the spectrum, where the booty is being idolized, and women are taking drastic measures to achieve asses like certain celebrities who’ve unnaturally altered the size of their previously natural, and in my opinion unique and beautiful, back sides. Women are now idolizing the booty and it’s wreaking havoc on their bodies and psyches.

My mission, what I feel is actually my responsibility, is to help women across the world love and appreciate themselves from the inside out. So that then when they want to show off what they’re working with, they’re flaunting what God actually gave them, and it’s coming from a place of real confidence and pure bliss.

Nasty character equals nasty booty. Beautiful character equals beautiful booty.

Bottom line.

No ifs, ands, or “butts” about it!

Let’s set out to make the world a little sweeter, one booty at a time.

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