Have you ever seen another woman sitting in a coffee shop, on the train, walking down the street, running on the treadmill next to you, all over Instagram….(eye roll,) who’s beautiful, classy, fashionable, and everything about her exudes beauty…
And you just feel this SUCKER PUNCH to the gut!?!
Lol! But for real.. It hits that place deep down inside that you don’t really want anyone to know you have?!! … that place you hold contempt, and jealousy, and hate, and disregard … that place that holds all those “Fuck You” ‘s! Haha!
Yeah. That place. You ever felt that?!
It’s ok to admit that you have. I know I have. Whatever.
It’s a really shitty feeling. It takes a hold of us and sends us down that spiral of self-hatred and self-loathing. It’s that road paved with insecurities that leads us straight into the pit of low-self esteem. That dark place void of confidence. Void of beauty. Void of grace.
How ironic and fucked up is that?! Seeing a woman, who we perceive to hold all of these traits of beauty and confidence and grace… sends us to a place in our minds where we are completely void of all those same characteristics that we long for.
In one instance, with one flash of ass, legs, and beautiful full hair… we trip and fall over that edge into this place of complete despair.
How the FUCK did that happen??!!!
Well, this is what happens when we put our worth in the material things like, looks, clothes, cars, bags, accessories, trips, men….
We set ourselves up for jealousy and failure… failure as women.
So let’s take a look at this. How can we change this? How can we find peace within ourselves so that when we see that woman, we feel like we want to give her that wink of solidarity, like “Yes, woman, I feel you sister!” … rather than wanting to choke that bitch out for being so damn pretty?!?! (Who’s the crazy bitch now, right?! You are. Yes, definitely you. Lol!)
Consider this idea: “Whatever we are not giving, we are withholding.”
Meaning, that if we are not giving, or if we are withholding something from someone else, we too are then actually withholding that from our own selves.
So if this is to be true, this would mean that every time we look at a woman with contempt and jealousy, i.e. withholding her beauty, then we are in that same moment withholding our own beauty as well. We in turn actually become the ugly ones.
Instead of applauding her for her beauty and grace, we try and pick out what’s wrong with her.
But in robbing her of her beauty, we are robbing ourselves as well.
You can see how this all shapes up to be one ugly situation.
And, to complicate things even further… it’s like the whole “chicken or the egg” thing.
Our insecurities are driving our jealousy. And our jealousy is driving our actions of putting another woman down, which in turn, as we just learned, puts our own selves down, which then feeds our insecurities.
It’s like a vicious cycle.
So… the solution here is swift shift in perspective.
It’s like we gotta throw a cog in the wheel to make it stop!
It’s actually very easy.
First, we must find a DIFFERENT place in ourselves to hold these feelings for women. A place of love, rather than fear and insecurity. We must make a new space, so that when we see a woman like this, we can take those shitty feelings, put them in this new space, and let them marinate. Let them transform from ugly and mean, to complimentary and beautiful.
This is going to sound crazy to some…. but what you must do is, you must “bless” her beauty. Yup, Like you would a sneeze. Lol.
“Bless you”… “I bless your beauty.” (Please, don’t say this out loud. You don’t want people to think you’re actually crazy.)
And then, turn that to yourself, and bless your own beauty.
Remember, what you withhold from someone else, you withhold from yourself.
And, inversely, what you give someone else, you give yourself.
You can be beautiful, too.
Now, do you see how this situation is already turning from ugly to beautiful?
So as crazy as this may seem to be, it really works. You’ll feel lighter and more free. More beautiful. You see, those shitty feelings you would’ve been carrying instead, they’re really heavy. That shit weighs you down… got you feeling all funky and frumpy and heavy and shit.
But, now since you’ve replaced those with the lighter more beautiful feelings, you’re going to feel lighter. You’ll feel like a woman of beauty and grace…
See how that works?!
That’s the first step. That’s the easy one. That’s the sweet little trick.
But don’t lose that. That must become second nature.
Because after that, you’re going to have to dig a little deeper so that those feelings will stick. We must now dive into a bigger shift in perspective. We’ve got to get to the root of why you feel like this woman has something on you because she’s beautiful. Why can’t she be beautiful?! What’s that got to do with you?!
Well, I believe because we’ve been societally pressured to see other women as competition…for men, for attention, etc., we then are always stuck in that place of lack. Like, if she has it, I must not.
This is universally NOT TRUE.
So, here, I ask you to shift your thoughts from those of lack, to those of abundance. Her beauty does not take away from yours, as yours does not hers. Another woman’s beauty does not take anything away from you. It doesn’t keep you from anything. And it doesn’t somehow block you from your potential and greatness.
We have to understand that everything that is meant for us will come to us.
So ladies, if that man wants to be with another woman, then he wasn’t meant for you girl! And you better hurry up and let that man go, because your man is waiting!
Or if that woman got that job and you didn’t… well it just wasn’t meant for you. You feel me?!
So, trust this. Trust that you, and every other woman on this planet can be just as beautiful as you and they want to be. And each and everyone of us can have all that our true spirit and heart desires.
This brings me to this final point.
You, woman, have something that NO OTHER WOMAN possesses. You, woman, have YOU.
You are uniquely you. And no other woman in this universe has what you have. There is no other woman, at any corner of this planet that can offer what you have to offer.
So baby, you better get out there and let your light shine. You better let your beauty radiate! And you better let another woman do the same. In letting her do the same, you are allowing yourself that as well.
Get out there ladies. Compliment each other. Smile at each other. Silently bless each other.
We are ONE HALF this human population. And if there’s one thing we can say, we are INTENSELY more beautiful than the other half! Lol.
So let’s start lifting each other up, rather than tearing each other down.
Let’s make this world a universally more beautiful place!